


I love you (like the idiot I am)

by thebluefrenchhorn



Category: Naruto
Genre: ANBU Deserve a Raise, Chuunin Exams, Gaara Needs a Hug (Naruto), Gay Male Character, Gender Confusion, He's a Knucklehead, Jinchuuriki-centric, M/M, Mostly Because Naruto Doesn't Realize that Sakura Is A Girl, Naruto is Just Naruto, Oblivious Uzumaki Naruto, Puppy Love, Sand Siblings-centric, Sasuke Falls Out of a Tree, Sound Invasion, Uzumaki Naruto is a Good Friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:27:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24206671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thebluefrenchhorn/pseuds/thebluefrenchhorn
Summary: In which Naruto inherits his father's preference for redheads, his mother's attraction towards orphaned genii and both of their habit of making dumb decisions when in love. Or, how Naruto didn't realize he was gay, until he met Gaara.
Relationships: Gaara/Uzumaki Naruto, Haruno Sakura & Uzumaki Naruto, Sarutobi Hiruzen & Uzumaki Naruto
Comments: 36
Kudos: 659





	I love you (like the idiot I am)

There are a few distinct truths that Konoha's Team 7 can always rely on. The first, is that Sasuke Uchiha is a downright bastard. He's skilled, for sure, top of his academy class and all with his Sharingan already unlocked as a result of that fateful Wave C-Rank. That doesn't make his disposition any better, though.

The second universal truth of the group is that Kakashi Hatake will always be at least three hours late to any training activity. His record, however, is seven hours: a culmination of what had apparently been numerous grocery runs for multiple elderly women that had inevitably resulted in Sakura screaming for thirty minutes straight. It is important to note that Sakura Haruno's short temper made up the team's next reliable fact.

Which leaves the fourth and final and, perhaps, most significant truth: Naruto Uzumaki is an oblivious knucklehead. So oblivious, in fact, that it isn't until he is thirteen that he realizes he is gay.

Looking back, it should have been pretty obvious. Naruto had never really noticed girls and while, yes, he had been a rather emotionally stunted six-year-old, there had been that brief period of time before the Uchiha Massacre that he had been tentative member of Sasuke's fan club. But, that had run its course almost as soon as it had begun, resulting in three months that he would deny vehemently until he met Sakura.

Naruto had liked Sakura more than anybody else in the academy. In fact, he _still_ likes Sakura quite a bit. He likes the warm shade of her rosette locks with their red undertones and the bright green of her eyes. He likes that she has slender figure, more boyish than any of the other girls, and that her chest is flat. He likes that she's bold and confident and, while his head might be thankful if she stopped hitting it so much, he likes that she's not meek like all of their year's kunoichi seem to be. In fact, it's all the ways that Sakura isn't girly that makes him like her more.

He had tried to explain this to Sakura once, had even asked her if she actually was a girl or just a boy who enjoyed the kunoichi classes. He had thought it was a reasonable question. Apparently it wasn't. Instead of acting flattered at his compliment, she had given him a blackeye and when he went to Jiji afterwards to ask where he went wrong, the old man had just shaken his head and mumbled something about 'being too old for this shit.'

Which, okay, Naruto had been fine with that. Jiji was old and old people were weird. He was sure he'd figure it out eventually. He just didn't know that it would take another six years until that happened.

But now he's thirteen-years-old, Konoha's 'No. 1 Most Unpredictable Knucklehead Ninja', on the cusp of the Chunin Exams, with this red-haired, pint-sized Suna shinobi staring down at him and all his mind can muster up is, 'I am gay. I am so gay. Kami, I am so so so _very_ gay.'

His brain, for all intents and purposes, is short-circuiting like it has never done before.

Suddenly, Sakura doesn't seem that great anymore. The Sand shinobi's hair is beautiful, brushing his neck in soft crimson curls. Compared to it, Sakura's pale pink strands just feel wrong. They shouldn't be pink. Not blush-colored like a spring rose, but the carmine of those that grow in the summer instead. Because pink is wrong; they should be red. Her eyes aren't perfect anymore either. The green is too bright, not like the deep pools of turquoise the other genin has. _He has eyes like me_ , Naruto realizes, _eyes full of pain and longing for something to call their own. Eyes that just want to be recognized for who they are, not what they've been born into._

Naruto knows he's staring, eyes tracing over the pale cream of the Sand shinobi's skin as the air is stolen from his lungs. He is awed by the way he balances in the tree above them effortlessly, not even appearing to use chakra to steady himself. He knows Sakura's off put by his silence, registers that she is speaking to him, but fails to make head or tail of any of her words. He is thoroughly captivated by the boy before him, the peculiar kanji painstakingly carved into his forehead that spells 'love' (when Naruto recognizes it, all he wants to do is reassure the redhead that he will find love, that Naruto, himself, will love him, _already_ loves him, in fact, because he's an Uzumaki and like all Uzumaki, he falls easily and hard and fast), and the dark rings surrounding his eyes like kohl.

Naruto is not a profound individual, but he can say with confidence that he has never seen a more lovely creature.

"What's your name," he says, shouts more like it, his finger pointed accusingly towards the Suna shinobi with adoration in his eyes that is juxtaposed to his aggressive behavior.

When the boy responds back, his voice deep and rich like a belly full of ramen, Naruto nearly faints. "I am Subaku no Gaara, Gaara of the desert." His gaze flickers over Naruto with disinterest, not that Naruto realizes, his mind already scurrying along on how to best entice the boy into getting a bowl of his favorite food with him.

It doesn't do him much good. In the end, Naruto is a rather simple person and with headstrong confidence he barrels his way through the awkward pause in their conversation, ignores Sakura's frantic poking and declares victoriously, "I'm Naruto Uzumaki and I'm going to be hokage, dattebayo! And I'm asking you, Subaku no Gaara, to grab a bowl of ramen with me!"

His words are met with silence. Blondie and Face-paint, the two additional Sand shinobi that Naruto had largely ignored, stare at him blankly, as if unable to piece together reality and the aggressive display of courtship they were seeing. Above them, still perched on his tree branch, Gaara raises an eyebrow or at least Naruto imagines that he would if he had one. He's unsure of the semantics of the whole thing and what exactly determines who has eyebrows and who doesn't, but the whole 'no eyebrow' thing worked for Zabuza and it's _definitely_ working for Gaara.

"Imma bring you to the best ramen place in town, Ichiraku's, dattebayo! No one makes ramen like old man Teuchi does," Naruto continues, just as loud as before, and refusing to let the lack of response deter him. "Imma a pay for it all. I give you my word and I don't go back on my word. That's my nindō, my ninja way."

He thumps his chest proudly to punctuate his statement and while his real nindō might be slightly different, it's close enough to mean practically the same thing.

"Will there be blood at this establishment? Mother desires blood." Gaara finally responds, his expression perplexed.

Naruto scratches his head, further disrupting his shaggy blonde locks. He's not quite sure what this whole blood thing is, but the other genin is finally responding, so he's not complaining. So what if he's a bit eccentric? The power of love and friendship triumphs all. Also, Gaara is hot, really _really_ hot.

Considering this, it's no surprise that he ends up practically offering himself up as a platter to his newfound crush. "Ichiraku's doesn't have any blood, but they have yummy tonkatsu," he begins hesitantly and upon noticing disinterest once again drift across the Suna shinobi's face, quickly changes tactics. "You can have my blood, though. I promise!"

Beside him, Sakura sputters, Konohamru dropping from her grasp like a sack of potatoes with a muffled and alarmed shout of 'boss'. Blondie and Face-paint don't seem to be doing much better, making weird fishlike faces and, what in the world, did Sasuke just fall out of a tree to the right of them?

It is only Gaara who appears to be unbothered, thoughtfully contemplating. "Your blood, you say?"

"Yes!" Naruto crows enthusiastically, because he can work with this interest, can keep this momentum rolling forward, down the street, and right into Ichiraku's food stand. "I heal quick too. Like, super quick, so you can take as much as you want, dattebayo."

Gaara's eyes, previously dead, seem to light up with a maniacal glint at this. For the first time since the beginning of their conversation, he appears to be truly focusing on Naruto and only him. "I suppose I can accompany you to Ichiraku's then," he admits.

Naruto lets out a hoot of joy, ignoring the fainting of the blonde-haired kunoichi and Moegi's confused, 'can boys even date other boys?' that his reaction elicits. Gaara, for his part, is composed as ever, disappearing in a swirl of sand only to appear before Naruto a second later.

 _That's the Shunshin_ , Naruto notes excitedly, _he must be a really strong ninja to know that._ Up close, the Sand shinobi is even more attractive, his skin noticeably blemish free and like porcelain beside the light tans of Fire Country ninja. A faint haze of sand surrounds them like darkened fireflies. It's like a scene right out of those stupid books that Kakashi-sensei reads and, for the first time, Naruto is beginning to see their merit (not that Kakashi-sensei ever let him sneak a peak at them, of course, but word of mouth is a powerful tool).

"Shall we leave now, so I can devour your mortal flesh?" Gaara presses, deep voice monotone. His eyes are locked onto Naruto's own, turquoise color divided into more distinct swirls of jade and sapphire now. He edges forward slowly, gracefully maneuvering around Sasuke's downed figure before throwing an expectant glance in his direction, as if there was no place Naruto should be, besides following him to Ichiraku's.

Naurto's heart skips a beat and another and then he finds himself chasing after Gaara's retreating figure, despite Sakura loosely grasping at his shirt-sleeve, her mouth moving silently. His face is beaming, a wide smile stretched from corner to corner. "I'm not so sure about this whole 'mortal flesh' deal, but you can still have my blood, dattebayo!" he reassures the shorter boy.

Beside him, Gaara pauses before summarily nodding. "I suppose that is acceptable."

Naruto's smile just stretches wider, whisker marks crinkling as he goes to grab Gaara's hand like he's seen civilian couples do. He comes up with only sand and grins as the particles latch onto his skin, undoubtedly doing so at the Suna shinobi's bidding. Their first date and Gaara was already giving him a present, how sweet.

* * *

Hours later, eight ANBU are found nursing their wounds before the dilapidated food district, only Ichiraku Ramen left standing from the jinchūriki fight that had just ensued. The Sand Village's invasion stopped before it even began with the ragged form of their village sacrifice leaning into the Kyuubi's host as he slurped through his ramen like a mad man.

"You know, Gaara, now that I know what that whole blood thing is about, imma have to recommend that you rethink your eating habits," the blonde says, patting his redhaired companion on the head empathetically. "I'm not saying that it's a deal breaker, but I also don't think Jiji would approve."

Watching with his Telescope Technique, Hiruzen Sarutobi groans upon hearing his name, burying his face into his left hand as he reaches for his pipe with his right.

Mournfully, he sighs. "I need to retire."


End file.
